The Importance of Choosing Alone Time Sometimes

Quality time on your own as well as in community is crucial to your well-being

Laura Khoudari

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Photo by Ross Sneddon on Unsplash

Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.

― bell hooks

Last Tuesday night I chose to take myself to dinner and a movie. I brought along a book which I read while I was waiting for my dinner, but I had no desire to split my attention any further. My phone stayed in my purse. I didn’t message, email, or call anyone. I didn’t consume snippets of other people’s thoughts about problems great and small, read their jokes, or look at their cute animals. I didn’t want to give away my attention as a means to fill the fifteen minutes between placing an order for chicken enchiladas con mole and having a comforting plate of food slid in front of me. I did not feel the need to escape myself.

While being alone can be painful and bring up feelings of loneliness and isolation, choosing to spend time alone can be calming and improve your experiences in community as well. I was tickled by my choice to take myself out as it had been a while, and it something I enjoy.

Once my dinner arrived, I closed my book and settled into my own thoughts about…

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Laura Khoudari

Trauma-informed wellness writer and the author of the book Lifting Heavy Things: Healing Trauma One Rep at a Time